Sermon: "The Exception or the Norm?"
How many of you have your own Email account either at your home or at your place of business?
Isn’t E-mail something? Who would have thought even 20 years ago that communication could take place so easily and conveniently? It’s a wonderful tool, one that I’m very thankful for, because I’ve never been much of a phone person.
Having said that, there are some people who find this new technology to be a bit of a problem due to the number of E-mails that they receive. So much so that not too long ago I stumbled across a web site called “Taming Email.” It was a sight whose purpose was to provide suggestions on how to bring your Emails under control. Their web sight has headlines such as these…
“One Simple Trick to Getting Less Email.”
“Email is Never Urgent. Really.”
“Is a Response Really Required?”
“The Most Under-Used Key On Your Keyboard” (They were referring to the “Delete” key which is a key I use quite liberally when it comes to Emails I receive.)
I hope that none of you have an Email account that is out of control, but if you do, I suggest that you visit that web site and see what it has to say about taming your Email.
This morning, I hope that none of you have a tongue that is out of control, but if you do, I suggest you turn with me to the book of James, and see what God’s Word has to say about taming your tongue.
And you know what? I think probably every one of us should be turning there. Is there anyone of us foolish enough to claim that we don’t need help when it comes to the things we say?
We are a social people, we do not live in isolation. We have families, we have friends, we have jobs, we have a church. And where you have groups of people you have conversation, and where you have conversation…well, lots of time, you have sin.
Not always, but at times, we all mess up. The question is, when we say things we shouldn’t say, is it the exception or the norm? Are you one who normally will speak words that are true and kind and encouraging? And when you do mess up and say something you shouldn’t… it’s out of character?
Or are you one who recognizes - as the norm - a pattern of talking too much and complaining and criticizing?
When it comes to the words you speak, what’s the exception, and what’s the norm?
Let’s go to God’s Word to get some help this morning in bringing our tongues under control.
We’re going to take the first 12 verses in James chapter 3, and talk about these verses, and look at how we can apply them to our lives, Okay?
Let’s start with the first two verses…
JAMES 3:1-2 Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone in never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
First thing we should address is the fact that…
I. EVERY BELIEVER IS A TEACHER
Now I know this appears to go against what we just read – not many should presume to be teachers – but let’s look at what’s going on here and then I’ll try to make my point.
James is saying “If you’re going to stand up and take the lead and teach, instruct, well, think it through before you do. Because it’s an awesome responsibility.”
And when you get right down to it, nobody is perfectly qualified to teach because we all mess up, in many ways.
The things we say for instance. An area where all of us have stumbled more times than we care to admit. James says this, “If someone does do an exceptional job at watching what he or she says, then it’s pretty likely they are going to have the other areas of their life under control as well, because the tongue is a hard one to tame.
If someone is going to teach, they should have their act together.
But I’d like to take what James says here, and not just limit it to those who are “teachers” but I’d think that it would be right to apply what He says to everyone who believes in Jesus and knows Him as Savior and Lord.
Very few of us may be “teachers” in the sense that we get up in front of a group of people and instruct…but everyone one of us should be teachers in the sense that we live out our faith in front of a group of people…our family, our friends, our co-workers, our church.
Others should be able to observe us and see that we know Jesus, and that we love Jesus, and that we are living to please Jesus – and when we do this, we are teaching. The way we carry on day to day conversation at home, at work, at yes, here at the church can help us to teach those around us what it means to know and love and please Jesus.
Do you see yourself as a teacher? If you’re serious about your commitment to Jesus, I think that you should. I think you should see yourself as teacher at home, in front of your family. At work, in front of those you work beside. In the stands in front of your friends. I think you should see yourself as a teacher here at the church, as you show others how the tongue should and should not be used.
It’s an awesome responsibility. But one I’d like to challenge you to assume. And as James says, “We all stumble in many ways.” But when we stumble, in the area of our speech…is it the exception, or the norm?
This leads me to ask this next question: How often do you think about…
2. THE POWER OF YOUR TONGUE
JAMES 3:3-8 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by very strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
Well. There you have it.
In one of the more descriptive passages in all of Scripture, we see James giving numerous examples to get us to understand the power of the tongue.
Those of you who have been in God’s Word, you’re familiar with these examples. A horse is a pretty big animal if you ever get to stand beside one, but a relatively small bit will enable you to control the horse and the course that it takes.
A ship is a huge vessel, and yet a relatively small rudder allows you to control the ship and the course that it takes.
You get the picture? Something might be small, but it can carry a lot of influence, a lot of power. Such as the tongue. Just a small part of the overall body, but boy, it has the power to just severely damage our ability to teach…to influence others in our family, at work or even here at the church. We’re out there in the foyer, or the kitchen, or the nursery, or the classroom, and we lose control of our tongues and start talking in ways that wouldn’t please Jesus…we not only lose control of our tongues, we lose a lot of ground when it comes to teaching others what it means to know and to love Jesus.
Let’s take a look at a number of ways that we can lose control of our tongue…I’m going to ask you to see yourself – picture yourself - at home, at work, here at the church…and see if these things are the exception or the norm.
A. Gossiping.
PROVERBS 11:13a “A gossip betrays a trust”…
PROVERBS 20:19a “A gossip betrays a confidence…”
PROVERBS 17:9 “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends”…
Betraying a trust, betraying a confidence, repeating a matter. In the original Greek language it indicates one who tells tales, who repeats stories.
Are you in the habit of repeating stories to your family, at work, or here at the church? Some stories are worth repeating for they are encouraging and uplifting and make us all feel better. We’re being good teachers when we tell these kinds of tales.
But there are many stories that aren’t worth repeating…stories that might be true, but that’s not the issue, is it?
A while back I was at a Small Group Bible Study where one of the ladies shared something she tries to put into practice when it comes to controlling her tongue. She said she tries to ask herself three questions before she speaks: What I’m about to say…Is it true? Perhaps it is. But she also realizes that just because something is true doesn’t mean she has the right to say it. So she asks herself a second question…what I’m about to say…Is it true, and Is it also kind?
Is it kind? What’s my motivation here? To build up or to tear down? And if it’s true and if she can say it kindly, she arrives at the 3rd question…Is it necessary?
I think we lose an awful lot of influence in the world because we keep messing up the 2nd and 3rd question. We miss out on teaching people what it means to know and love and please Jesus because while we’re not telling lies, we’re telling tales that aren’t sometimes aren’t kind and often times aren’t necessary.
Do you have control of your tongue when it comes to gossip?
How about this one…
B. Talking Ourselves Up
PROVERBS 27:1-2 Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth. Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips.
How many people are there in the world that find that perfect balance between high self–esteem and low self-esteem? You don’t have to look very far to find lots of people who think a little more of themselves than what they ought. I mess up here, sometimes I think more of myself than what I ought.
At the same time, you don’t have to look very far to find lots of people who think a little less of themselves than they ought. And this also happens to me at times.
We need to see ourselves as Jesus sees us…men and women of great value, of great worth, but for His glory, not for ours.
The problem is most of us lose sight of this and fly back and forth between high and low self-esteem, and one of the consequences is we end up talking ourselves up, because we think too much of ourselves and really believe it, or because we think too little of ourselves and we want others to see that, “Hey, I’m important.”
Do you ever lose control of your tongue and try to talk yourself up? It’s a pretty fine line we’re walking here, because sometimes it’s good to share about what has happened in our lives…but boy, we’ve got to be careful, because if those that are listening are getting a whiff of arrogance, or superiority, or false modesty, we’ve just lost ground in our ability to teach others what looks like to know and love and please Jesus.
Do you have control of your tongue when it comes to talking yourself up?
Finally, how about this one…
C. Grumbling.
It’s a serious matter that as Believers I don’t think we take too seriously…I know I grumble and complain far more than I should – I really do. And too be honest, as much as I love this church and the people of this church – there is a fair amount of grumbling and complaining that I hear inside this building.
So what does God’s Word have for us? Those who were children of God in Old Testament times were infamous for the amount of grumbling they did. So much so that Paul wrote to the New Testament church…
I CORINTHIANS 10:10 And do not grumble, as some of them did – and were killed by the destroying angel.
This was right after Paul told the church not to commit sexual immorality…and so the next time you feel like telling tales about someone else’s sexual sin, catch yourself before you fall into a sin that is mentioned along right along side of it.
In Paul’s letter to the Philippian church, he wrote these words…
PHILIPPIANS 2:14 Do everything without complaining or arguing.
If we could just do this…if we could only tame our tongues, gain control over our tongues, how much more effective we would be in our ability to show those around us what lover of Jesus really looks like.
Today, if we grumble and complain about this person or that person…how lazy they are, how lucky they are, how arrogant they are…when we complain about the job this ministry is doing, and what are they thinking, and “I sure wouldn’t do it that way…” I’m sure it displeases the Lord because it’s sin. It might be true…all of it might be true, but it isn’t kind and it isn’t necessary. And others see that we can’t control our tongues and when this happens we lose our standing when it comes to saying, “Here is what it looks like to love and please the Lord.”
So far we’ve addressed the fact that all of us who are Believers are also teachers, because others are looking to us to see what a Believer of Jesus looks like. We’ve also seen what James has to say about the power of the tongue, and looked at some examples of how it can go wrong.
Let’s look at how James concludes this section on taming the tongue, and by doing so find out…
3. WHAT IS THE EXCEPTION, WHAT IS THE NORM?
JAMES 3:9-12 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth comes praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
I have to give James a lot of credit here, and more accurately, the Lord, because while sometimes I can read a passage of Scripture and walk away scratching my head trying to figure it out; that’s not the case in this passage.
Have you seen all those books on the shelves these days…Carpentry Work for Dummies…Tax Returns for Dummies…Web Site Creation for Dummies…this one could be called a Scripture passage for Dummies, because God has James give all these examples to make sure we get it.
The big horse and the small bit. The big ship and the small rudder. The big body and little tongue. The great fire and the little spark. And now here in this passage, God uses James to have us take a look at what’s inside. Look at the source of our words, the source of what comes out.
Because if both praises and curses are coming out of the same mouth, then there’s something wrong here. Because there is no way that both fresh water and salt water are going to come out of the same spring. It’s got to be one or the other. Look at the source and then you’ll see what comes out.
Yet another example James gives, there is no way that a fig tree is going to bear olives, there’s no way that a grapevine is going to produce figs. Look at the source, whatever kind of tree or vine it is, that’s what you’re going to get.
So which is it with you?
JAMES 3:9a With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father…
Does this describe you? Sure it does. Many of you, I would hope most all of you use your tongue to sincerely praise God the Father and God the Son. I don’t want to fall into the sin of talking myself up, but I know it describes me. I quite often use my tongue to praise my Lord. And I’m sincere when I do.
JAMES 3:9b …and with it (the tongue) we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness.
Does this describe you? It many cases I’m afraid that it does. How many among us can say that it’s been a while since we told a tale, put someone else down, or grumbled about this person or that person? I confess to you that this verse also describes me.
JAMES 3:10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.
James is right, this ought not be. So what’s going on here?
God helps us to figure it out by having James begin to talk about the spring and the fig tree and the vine, getting us to turn our attention to the source, in our case what’s inside, in order to figure out why we speak as we do.
And what’s inside? What’s inside, because this is the key to everything…
What’s inside of every Believer is the Holy Spirit. God Himself has placed His Spirit within us, and this awareness and what we do with this awareness will make all the difference in the world.
For those Believers who do not understand or do not grasp the significance of the presence of God’s Spirit within us, then you can expect your tongue to be out of control most of the time.
For the Believer who does not offer himself or herself to the Holy Spirit they will be the source of their words, and the norm will be talking too much – telling tales -, talking oneself up, and grumbling and complaining. And while the Believer may come to church and for a few minutes each week and sing praises to the Lord, this will be the exception rather than the norm.
And the teaching they do as others observe them will actually do more harm than good for the Lord’s Kingdom. Others will observe and think that this is how Christians talk, Christians who supposedly know and love and live to please Jesus. And they’ll have it all wrong.
On the other hand, there are Believers, and I hope there are many here this morning, who are aware and grasp the significance of God’s Spirit living within you. You understand that in your own strength and power, you have no chance whatsoever of taming your tongue.
But because you offer yourself each day – in fact moment by moment throughout the day – to the Holy Spirit, and allow Him to be the source of your words, you tend to speak what is true, what is kind, and only what is necessary.
When you come in here and sing praises to the Lord, it’s not a one-time thing for you in the course of your week, it’s the norm. And when you do stumble and fall and say something you shouldn’t, it’s the exception to the way you normally speak.
When others observe you, they get to see firsthand how a Believer talks…a Believer who knows and loves and lives to please the Lord. And those who are observing you will be getting it right.
I think one reason that the Lord had James spell all this out so clearly is in order for us to make sure we get it. Do you get it? Do you understand that others are watching you? Your family, your friends, your co-workers, your church?
Not only watching, but listening. And so do you understand the power that your tongue has, for good and for bad?
Are you willing to ask yourself and honestly answer: What’s the exception and what’s the norm in my life: praises or curses?
This week, if you want praises to be the norm, then you must understand the importance of offering yourself to the Holy Spirit. The tongue will follow your lead. And you will be a useful and powerful teacher for all who are around you, without ever having to prepare a lesson.